Denise's Discourse: To my future daughters-in-law,

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

To my future daughters-in-law,

If you believe that your husbands are sane and decent men, you are welcome. I have spent YEARS training them. Please take a moment to look at the raw material with which I was given to work.

With much love (and empathy),

Mom

That is right, this is what I came out to find after leaving the boys alone for less than 5 minutes.

One moment little Grant sat looking around just enjoying being outside with the big boys, never thinking about how his brothers could tarnish him in the blink of an eye. Dirt was everywhere, including every one's hair.

When I asked the biggest one why he would even think of doing something like this the response was, "I thought you would be happy." I questioned, "Why would I be happy that you put dirt all over the baby." The very creative answer, "Umm, we were going to put plants around him. We thought you would like to put it on your blog so all of your friends could say that you are flowerlicious." They are such thoughtful boys to think of me and work so hard to make me happy, aren't they?

The aftermath:

15 comments:

Anonymous said...: So funny. They are a lot of work. You must never get any time to yourself. I love the way you put things on your blog. Jackson is the big boy and leader I would say. But he is very thoughtfull child.; March 30, 2010 at 9:26 PM
hdknowles said...: Look at that beautiful smile on Grant's face. How could you be angry with that! Just remember, it's only dirt.; March 30, 2010 at 9:56 PM
The Cockerills said...: Sounds like my nephew! Go boys!; March 30, 2010 at 10:18 PM
Pam said...: How flowericious!; March 30, 2010 at 10:27 PM
MaryBeth said...: Wow. Just wow.; March 31, 2010 at 9:28 AM
Bruveleit Babblings said...: You are doing a great job Momma! Keep Smiling and Laughing, or you will cry! LOL; March 31, 2010 at 10:25 AM
Roger & Sue Hilt said...: How funny, so glad you captured it in photos. You have to admit it makes you smile. Luv and hugs.; March 31, 2010 at 8:20 PM
drmudgett said...: They are So funny! Wow, great job Jackson! Great Vocabulary, I have been to college and didn't even know that word!; April 1, 2010 at 3:08 AM
Lissa said...: oh this is so great!!! you wait until grant is old enough to help brain storm ideas with the other two!! And the 'aftermath' tells the story so superbly! ...hmmmm where oh where have I seen this played out before?? did any of the boys snack on the dirt as it was being thrown about?; April 1, 2010 at 12:40 PM
Harrison's said...: Can't wait to have another boy!! I love the planting flowers comeback....pretty creative I must say!; April 1, 2010 at 1:11 PM
Jen said...: Boys will be boys! Looking at that and am now thankful for my all girl children even if the drama is too much at times.; April 1, 2010 at 1:46 PM
Corinne said...: That is HILARIOUS. Honestly, what a great job they did, flowerfying his excersauser :); April 2, 2010 at 10:16 PM
Karen said...: One thing I know...Little kids and dirt are inseparable. Totally cute...; April 5, 2010 at 1:45 PM
Harrison's said...: I think this is the blog I got it from:
http://leeloublogs.blogspot.com/2008/05/lds-link-buttons.html; April 7, 2010 at 9:18 AM
CR said...: Denise, you are my hero! And your writing is hilarious. And I love your boys. I'm thinking that I only have one boy because God knew I could not handle anymore. I love him, but OH my GOODNESS!!! I used to think I was a pretty good Mom until I had a boy. ;); April 7, 2010 at 3:22 PM

FROM THE LITTLE MAN'S MOUTH...

Jackson constantly makes me chuckle at the things he says. Here are some of the things I get to hear each day:

2/2011
After one of the very few times I had a burp and right after my parents left after coming to visit:
J: You have your father's burp.

8/3/2020
D: Your uncle is getting really skinny, he's been on a diet.
J: Why?
D: Because he wants to be more healthy.
J: Maybe you should try it.
D: Why?
J: No reason, no reason.
D: Maybe Daddy should try it.
J: No, Daddy is skinny enough.

7/30/2010
While I am jammin' in the car to my girl Mylie Cyrus:
L: Shub up, Mommy.
D: Luke, in our family we don't say shut up. That's not nice.
J: What he's trying to say is that you need to be quiet. You are not a very good singer and you can't dance.
D: If I can't sing, why did I get into a high school for kids who are singers? And, I CAN dance. I was on a dance team and we went to the National Championship. We came in 19th place out of the whole USA.
J: 19th place? Was your trophy the size of an ant?

7/15/2010
After Luke asked, "Who is Jimmy?"
J: Jimmy is Daddy. But you can call him Cornelius.

5/2010
While my sister was visiting and I was singing in the car:
J: Was mom this annoying when she was growing up?

8/30/09
Just after I found Jackson crossing the street on his own:
D: What would happen if you got hit by a car and died?
J: I would get to see Jesus and then be a kid in heaven.
D: But Daddy and I would be SO sad.
J: You're young, you can have more children.

4/26/09
We were invited to have dinner with a family that we don't know very well in the neighborhood. While eating a dessert of brownies with the sweet (Caucasian) family:
J: My Dad LOVES brownies ... that's because he is brown.

3/7/09
After attending the Father/Son bowling banquet at school:
J: Daddy, my friend said that he didn't know my Daddy was black.
B: What did you say?
J: I said that he isn't black, he's BROWN!

2/28/09
On a rainy day when I wore my hair curly to church while pregnant:
J: You look just like my Aunt (who has curly hair), when she used to be fat.

2/12/09
D: What do you think about moving to a new house down the street?
J: Why?
D: Because we could save money and it is in better shape.
J: Oh, so it is a square, ok.

12/08
After Mommy told him not to do something:
J: You NEVER let me eat junk food.
D: Well, I have to make sure you are healthy and take care of you.
J: Daddy can take care of me.
D: But Daddy has to go to work.
J: We can get a babysitter.
D: But then you would have to stay with someone that you don't even know.
J: I know, we could get a robot to be our mommy!

10/29/08
While walking past some Halloween decorations:
J: Why do they have to put that stuff around. It is terrifying.

10/9/08
After getting in trouble for hurting his brother:
J: You don't love me.
D: That's not true, I love you very much.
J: You don't love me. That's why I have to live this miserable life.

10/7/08
As we are pulling into the school parking lot for "Movie Night".
J: This isn't the movie theater!
D: I know, the movie is at your school.
J: That's awkward.

9/30/08
J: Mom, who do you want to be on The Beauty and the Beast?
I want to be the cup, Chip.
D: I think I'll be Mrs. Potts, the teapot. She is Chip's mother, you know.
J: Are you sure? She has LOTS of cup children.
D: What's wrong with having lots of children?
J: Then they would cry all the time and be stinky. You would go crazy!
D: Yeah, maybe I should be Belle.

9/28/08
Randomly, as we are driving:
J: Mom, can I have this car when you die?

9/21/08
After giving an Article of Faith at church:
J: I had stage fright, but I kept my cool.

9/12/08
Disclaimer: You will only get this IF you know this rap song and wonder how on earth a 5 year old would know it.

After hearing someone talking about Fifty Cent, the rapper, on the radio: (And, yes, I'm sure his name is spelled incorrectly.)
J: Fifty Cent? What is that?
D: Oh, it is a singer guy.
J: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Singing: Fifty Cent, back on that gangsta tip....

9/12/08
After just coloring my hair:
D: Jackson, do I look any different?
J: Yes.
D: What part of me looks different?
J: Well, you have a pimple.

8/20/08
When meeting the principal at his new school:
J: Kids have to go in your office when they do bad things.
Principal: You seem like a very nice boy, so I'm sure you won't have to worry about that.
J: We'll see.

8/10/08
During sharing time in church (with 7-8 adults in the room) Jackson raises his hand. The teacher has just told them that watching a bad show could make it harder to feel the Holy Spirit. After he is called on: "My Mommy and Daddy watch bad shows after I go to bed."

8/9/08
While admiring a massive garden at a friends house:
J to the family: "Why do you grow so much food? Are you poor?"

7/29/08
Me: "That boy, Om, in your swimming class looks a lot like Jr."
J: "No, he doesn't."
Me: "Really? I think he does."
J: "Does he speak Spanish?"
Me: "I don't think so."
J: "Does he have black car?"
Me: "No."
J: "Does he like Cars?"
Me: "I'm not sure. I didn't say that he WAS Jr., just that he looks like Jr."
J: "Does he have the same parents?"
Me: "No."
J: "Does he live in MD?"
Me: "No."
J: "See, he doesn't look like Jr."
Me: Maybe you're right.

This morning (7/25/08) Jackson said that he missed Daddy. Daddy called at that moment. This was their conversation.
J: "Daddy, why did you turn off the light last night?"
B: gives explanation of why he turned the light down, not off.
J: Irritated, "Then I say to you, GOOD DAY SIR." The phone is immediately dropped.

This morning's conversation 7/24/08:
Jackson: "I'm going to fart."
Me: "Please don't use that word. In our family we say, toot."
J: "Fart means throw up."
Me: "Actually, it means toot."
J: "Actually, Your mother didn't teach you very well."

After I swerved the smallest little bit while driving the new car, "Um, MAYbe you should get a license."

Randomly, "Are we going to church today?"
My response, "No, it's Tuesday. Why?"
"Hello Mommy, you're wearing make-up."

As we are introducing ourselves to our new neighbors:
"My Mommy is a nice stranger. She believes in Jesus."

Whenever Mommy wore makeup: Whispering to Daddy, "Tell Mommy she is a beautiful princess." Then, after Daddy would say it, Jackson would deny that he had any part of it.

During an argument with Daddy over who was Mommy's boyfriend, "You already had your chance (while pointing to our wedding picture), she is my girlfriend now." 2.5 yrs old