Denise's Discourse: Bad Parenting 101

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Bad Parenting 101

This was Luke at 11:45 am yesterday. How many examples of bad parenting can you find in this picture? (There are seven, that I know of...)

Be honest in your comment, how many did you identify BEFORE you look at the following answers?

Answers: (1) The child is close to being naked. (2) The only thing making him NOT fully naked is the USED swim diaper after spending some time in the wading pool. (3) The hair hasn't been touched except, maybe, by fingers that have jelly on them. (4) Yes, that is his lunch that he is eating ON THE COUCH. (5) Oh, yeah. He is eating Skittles and potato chips FOR LUNCH. (6) What you can't see in the picture is that he is watching tv. (7) And it's not Barney, it's THE VIEW. (I'm not even counting the fact that the couch is made into a bed which means that the cushions are ALL OVER the family room probably laying on top of Goldfish crackers or crushed up chips.

Feel free to come on over. I'm open to giving lessons...

18 comments:

Donna Black Davis said...: I LOVE you!!! Actually, the fact that you posted this is a sign of exceptionally wonderful parenting! How did Luke get to be so big? I haven't been keeping up with any blogs, and now I see I've missed out on too much fun. You are an amazing mommy with a wonderful sense of humor. Keep up the good work. I'd love Skittles and chips for lunch!; July 15, 2009 at 10:44 PM
Donna Black Davis said...: p.s. I MISS you. When are you guys going to move back? We need you in Maryland.; July 15, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Jen said...: Bwahahahah!!! This is too funny but also all too common with us members of the Super Mommies Club, right? I had a friend admit that while her husband spends the weeknights away for his job that her kids get cereal for dinner every night.; July 16, 2009 at 9:40 AM
couplabz said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; July 16, 2009 at 11:07 AM
couplabz said...: I didn't notice anything. After searching, I noticed the candy, but everything else seemed pretty normal to me, including the candy. Eli is a super candy sniffer-outer. Eli often likes to wear his pull-up as long as he can in the morning (can we say YUCK!) I literally have to remove it from him (Boys!).

Let me tell you what's normal about our house from that picture: cushions gone, blankets on couch, children hardly clothed, hair never touched unless we're leaving the house or taking a picture, potato chips (aren't those a staple?), lunch on the couch is a common occurence (I'm just happy on some days that they eat!), and what's wrong with the TV? My kids even know how to use the DVR!

That's not bad parenting, that's NORMAL parenting!; July 16, 2009 at 11:09 AM
*~Petra~* said...: You're dang right that is bad parenting!!!! That should be potato chips and M&M's... not skittles. What kind of mom are you??? ;) ♥; July 16, 2009 at 5:55 PM
Higleys said...: I got 2 right, the skittles and the swim diaper, Yeah me
But why is that wrong? I would just be careful cause swimmers don't hold much.; July 16, 2009 at 9:10 PM
Roger & Sue Hilt said...: Too funny, all I have to say is the kids sure look happy and isn't that what life is all about? You do have a great sense of humor.

I am sure this isn't the norm. Plus, Luke doesn't look like he has suffered from the diet his normally eats. You are one wonderful mom! You will have to read my blog I hope to post later today...It will be rather funny also! Luv and hugs!; July 17, 2009 at 8:18 AM
Anonymous said...: Luke needs his vitamin S and C. He gets it from that food. Also I think you are doing an amazing job with him. He was in the pool you actually filled it. I bet a little water got dripped in the house? Hope everything is going great you are too funny you should be a professional journalist.; July 17, 2009 at 11:39 PM
Karen said...: skittles and chips...awesome. My kids are almost always practically naked at home and you should see their hair!!; July 20, 2009 at 12:40 AM
brooke said...: The kid is having lunch so that's a plus. Some days I totally forget about lunch and my kids are starving by 3:00. He is such a cutie and it's too hot to wear clothes so I love that he's in a swim diaper.

I also love the blessing picture of your family below. All three of your boys are so darling and Grant just looks like an angel.; July 20, 2009 at 2:04 PM
Cindy said...: I heard that the more colorful a meal is the better it is for you. Luke's lunch looks colorful. And chips are a vegetable, skittles are fruit. The smile on his face says it all...you're a great mom!; July 20, 2009 at 5:39 PM
Tracie Frost said...: Hi Denise - You left a comment on my blog a few days ago. I'm Michelle Jolley's friend in Charlotte. I just wanted to say thanks. I hope things are going better for you. Funny thing. We just moved from Cheverly MD, by College Park 2 years ago. We were in the Carrollton Ward for 6 years. The Mowers are our good friends. How about that for a small world??; July 21, 2009 at 8:59 PM
Corinne said...: So, I'm not gonna lie, the m&ms were the only thing I saw and frankly, i gave Preston three cookies for snack today :)

this was really funny; July 23, 2009 at 12:42 PM
Malin said...: Bad parenting? I see only good parenting-he is safe, happy and fed!; July 24, 2009 at 2:12 AM
CR said...: Denise, you are SO awesome! I love it, I laughed so hard. But seriously, at first I could not come up with anything, and then the only thing I could think of was eating in the living room. But that just means you are fun, instead of mean like me! I love you!; July 24, 2009 at 11:17 PM
Alison said...: I'm just jealous of Luke's lunch.; July 27, 2009 at 12:50 PM
Michaelbrent said...: This was great. I followed you over here from On the Parenting Front Line. Enjoyed reading some of your stuff. Cute fam!; August 4, 2009 at 7:58 PM

FROM THE LITTLE MAN'S MOUTH...

Jackson constantly makes me chuckle at the things he says. Here are some of the things I get to hear each day:

2/2011
After one of the very few times I had a burp and right after my parents left after coming to visit:
J: You have your father's burp.

8/3/2020
D: Your uncle is getting really skinny, he's been on a diet.
J: Why?
D: Because he wants to be more healthy.
J: Maybe you should try it.
D: Why?
J: No reason, no reason.
D: Maybe Daddy should try it.
J: No, Daddy is skinny enough.

7/30/2010
While I am jammin' in the car to my girl Mylie Cyrus:
L: Shub up, Mommy.
D: Luke, in our family we don't say shut up. That's not nice.
J: What he's trying to say is that you need to be quiet. You are not a very good singer and you can't dance.
D: If I can't sing, why did I get into a high school for kids who are singers? And, I CAN dance. I was on a dance team and we went to the National Championship. We came in 19th place out of the whole USA.
J: 19th place? Was your trophy the size of an ant?

7/15/2010
After Luke asked, "Who is Jimmy?"
J: Jimmy is Daddy. But you can call him Cornelius.

5/2010
While my sister was visiting and I was singing in the car:
J: Was mom this annoying when she was growing up?

8/30/09
Just after I found Jackson crossing the street on his own:
D: What would happen if you got hit by a car and died?
J: I would get to see Jesus and then be a kid in heaven.
D: But Daddy and I would be SO sad.
J: You're young, you can have more children.

4/26/09
We were invited to have dinner with a family that we don't know very well in the neighborhood. While eating a dessert of brownies with the sweet (Caucasian) family:
J: My Dad LOVES brownies ... that's because he is brown.

3/7/09
After attending the Father/Son bowling banquet at school:
J: Daddy, my friend said that he didn't know my Daddy was black.
B: What did you say?
J: I said that he isn't black, he's BROWN!

2/28/09
On a rainy day when I wore my hair curly to church while pregnant:
J: You look just like my Aunt (who has curly hair), when she used to be fat.

2/12/09
D: What do you think about moving to a new house down the street?
J: Why?
D: Because we could save money and it is in better shape.
J: Oh, so it is a square, ok.

12/08
After Mommy told him not to do something:
J: You NEVER let me eat junk food.
D: Well, I have to make sure you are healthy and take care of you.
J: Daddy can take care of me.
D: But Daddy has to go to work.
J: We can get a babysitter.
D: But then you would have to stay with someone that you don't even know.
J: I know, we could get a robot to be our mommy!

10/29/08
While walking past some Halloween decorations:
J: Why do they have to put that stuff around. It is terrifying.

10/9/08
After getting in trouble for hurting his brother:
J: You don't love me.
D: That's not true, I love you very much.
J: You don't love me. That's why I have to live this miserable life.

10/7/08
As we are pulling into the school parking lot for "Movie Night".
J: This isn't the movie theater!
D: I know, the movie is at your school.
J: That's awkward.

9/30/08
J: Mom, who do you want to be on The Beauty and the Beast?
I want to be the cup, Chip.
D: I think I'll be Mrs. Potts, the teapot. She is Chip's mother, you know.
J: Are you sure? She has LOTS of cup children.
D: What's wrong with having lots of children?
J: Then they would cry all the time and be stinky. You would go crazy!
D: Yeah, maybe I should be Belle.

9/28/08
Randomly, as we are driving:
J: Mom, can I have this car when you die?

9/21/08
After giving an Article of Faith at church:
J: I had stage fright, but I kept my cool.

9/12/08
Disclaimer: You will only get this IF you know this rap song and wonder how on earth a 5 year old would know it.

After hearing someone talking about Fifty Cent, the rapper, on the radio: (And, yes, I'm sure his name is spelled incorrectly.)
J: Fifty Cent? What is that?
D: Oh, it is a singer guy.
J: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Singing: Fifty Cent, back on that gangsta tip....

9/12/08
After just coloring my hair:
D: Jackson, do I look any different?
J: Yes.
D: What part of me looks different?
J: Well, you have a pimple.

8/20/08
When meeting the principal at his new school:
J: Kids have to go in your office when they do bad things.
Principal: You seem like a very nice boy, so I'm sure you won't have to worry about that.
J: We'll see.

8/10/08
During sharing time in church (with 7-8 adults in the room) Jackson raises his hand. The teacher has just told them that watching a bad show could make it harder to feel the Holy Spirit. After he is called on: "My Mommy and Daddy watch bad shows after I go to bed."

8/9/08
While admiring a massive garden at a friends house:
J to the family: "Why do you grow so much food? Are you poor?"

7/29/08
Me: "That boy, Om, in your swimming class looks a lot like Jr."
J: "No, he doesn't."
Me: "Really? I think he does."
J: "Does he speak Spanish?"
Me: "I don't think so."
J: "Does he have black car?"
Me: "No."
J: "Does he like Cars?"
Me: "I'm not sure. I didn't say that he WAS Jr., just that he looks like Jr."
J: "Does he have the same parents?"
Me: "No."
J: "Does he live in MD?"
Me: "No."
J: "See, he doesn't look like Jr."
Me: Maybe you're right.

This morning (7/25/08) Jackson said that he missed Daddy. Daddy called at that moment. This was their conversation.
J: "Daddy, why did you turn off the light last night?"
B: gives explanation of why he turned the light down, not off.
J: Irritated, "Then I say to you, GOOD DAY SIR." The phone is immediately dropped.

This morning's conversation 7/24/08:
Jackson: "I'm going to fart."
Me: "Please don't use that word. In our family we say, toot."
J: "Fart means throw up."
Me: "Actually, it means toot."
J: "Actually, Your mother didn't teach you very well."

After I swerved the smallest little bit while driving the new car, "Um, MAYbe you should get a license."

Randomly, "Are we going to church today?"
My response, "No, it's Tuesday. Why?"
"Hello Mommy, you're wearing make-up."

As we are introducing ourselves to our new neighbors:
"My Mommy is a nice stranger. She believes in Jesus."

Whenever Mommy wore makeup: Whispering to Daddy, "Tell Mommy she is a beautiful princess." Then, after Daddy would say it, Jackson would deny that he had any part of it.

During an argument with Daddy over who was Mommy's boyfriend, "You already had your chance (while pointing to our wedding picture), she is my girlfriend now." 2.5 yrs old