Cry me a river

Some (and by some I mean Barrington) might consider me to be a crier. I cry when I'm really sad, or mad, or frustrated, or tired or even when I'm super happy. I cry for the first week or so after I have a baby. I have even cried because I'm laughing too hard. I really don't think I'm abnormal but I may be slightly above average in the crying department.

My husband has absolutely no clue about what to do when I cry. Even after nearly eleven years of marital training and desensitization, he is still unenlightened. (And, btw, the training is very simple.) He will either get frustrated, shut down completely or look like he has never seen another living soul cry. I have no idea why he can't handle it. Maybe it is because he generally seems to think that he is the cause of the teariness. Maybe he didn't get enough love when he cried as a child. Maybe it is because of his gender. Regardless, the man needs an emotional boot camp. (Or, maybe, I'm the one that needs it.) At any rate, I'm beginning to understand.

Grant is a crier. It started when he was about 1 1/2 weeks old. For an entire month, he cried EVERY moment that he was awake. (Unless he was eating.) There was nothing I could do to comfort him. I told the doctor that I felt completely incompetent as a mother. This is my third child. I, for one, thought I would have a little bit more knowledge about how to comfort a crying baby by now. But, alas, I was wrong.



I took him into the doctors at three weeks old. The doctor suggested that it might be a milk protein or soy protein allergy. I didn't believe it. But, they tested his stool and found blood. So, I decided I would try a milk and soy free diet for a couple of weeks and see what happened. The alternative was to switch him to a hypoallergenic formula which is, apparently, VERY expensive. I was given four sheets of paper each with about 40 things that might be found on a label suggesting that the product might have milk or soy in it. (I'm also off nuts because of Jackson's nut allergy.) It took me a while to figure out that my calcium supplement was made of soy. But about a week after I found food to eat and made the changes I noticed a significant decrease in the amount of crying he was doing. And the blood in his diaper disappeared. We also started him on Zantac for Reflux after experimenting with Mylanta. That has helped as well. Not only could I tell that he was WAY more content, but his hives disappeared and I could see a big difference in his diapers. (I know, TMI.)

We do have backslides when I add something to my diet that disagrees with him, like corn. The next day I could see the blood in his diaper. So, no more corn or corn products either. For the time being, I'm spending lots of money at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's. They seem to have some interesting food choices for me. I'm not thrilled about the expense, though. (Why does healthier food cost more anyway?) I'm surprised that there isn't more information about this diet online. It seems pretty common and I haven't really been able to get much direction. However, I think I've figured things out. It won't be a fun six months to a year for me food wise, but it's a lot better than listening to the constant screaming.

Little Grant is doing so much better. I can put him down for 5-10 minutes while he is awake now. (He is swaddled up in his bouncy seat as I type this.) It is very freeing considering the fact that I've been holding him for nearly two months now. He will even lay in his stroller and look around as we take walks now, too. And I'm FINALLY beginning to figure him out. The baby can be rocked for hours and not fall asleep, but will fall asleep in minutes if he is in his room with his sound machine on if he is swaddled, bounced and your face touches his. He doesn't like to be around a lot of noise. (Hopefully he will grow out of that or he is in for a rocky life being part of this family.) He isn't the type that can fall and stay asleep out and about. He needs to eat every hour and a half or two hours. He is by no means a laid back baby but he is able to be comforted and that is HUGE.

I'm so grateful for the doctor's advice and that it has seemed to help make Grant feel better. It is amazing how our bodies work and how what I eat really does influence the baby since I'm nursing him. It really makes me think about how much what we take in while we are pregnant directly enters the fetus' body. I'm also more grateful than I can express for the feeling that I had during those weeks of floating. It was like I was coasting along and the crying didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I know that was divine intervention because I can be pretty anxious and on edge. And the crying didn't even make me cry once. Talk about a blessing!



For my dear father:
This is the proof that I am telling the truth about Grant and his crying since you don't believe me. This was taken just seconds after the picture of Grant and I that I posted yesterday. It is blurry, but you get the point.



AND, just for you, I tortured my baby by taking this video instead of trying to console him. (I wouldn't have been able to console him anyway.) (Yes it is sideways but it is too late and I'm too tired to convert it. You get the point, though.)